“Bieber- “You sparkle, fly, and don’t eat humans! Are you sure you’re a vampire?”
Cullen- “You sing like a girl, have hair like a girl, and sing girly songs! Are YOU sure you’re a boy?”
Biber- “….. -_-”—
“Black guy gets B, parents extend curfew.Mexican guy gets B, parents bring out to eat. White guy gets B, parents give him an iPad. Asian guy gets B, he wakes up the next week not knowing what happened to him.”—
“oldest daughter: MOM why’s my name rose
mom:when you were a baby a rose pedal fell on your head
middle daughter: MOM why’s my name Lily?
mom:when you were a baby a Lily fell on your head.
“I was younger then, I wasn’t afraid of anything, I didn’t think about dying for a second. I thought I was invincible. Then I met some girl. I wanted to live, I started to think like that; for the first time I was afraid of death. I had never felt like that before.”—cowboy bepop
“The weather is such a slut ..
The wind blows everyone…..
The rain gets everyone wet…..
The sun makes everyone wanna take there cloths off…..
The snow covers everyone in white stuff…..
The hail makes everyone hurt :)”—
“A blonde is swerving all over the road, so a police officer pulls her over.
police:ma’am why are you driving so recklessly?
blonde:because everywhere i go theres this tree in the way.
police:ma’am, thats your air freshner.”—
“Hey look a pencil…I’ll name you bob :)
Hey look a bug….I’ll name you bob :)
Hey look a fish….I’ll name you bob :)
Hey look a person…I’ll name you something else cuz your not cool enough to be named BOB :)”—
“Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!”—team america fuck yea